I drive to work, past the duck pond and I see our silhouettes
whispering in the windshield as we coast out of town,
down towards the harbor
we crept out of our beds and left long before daybreak
just to watch the swans and kiss as the sun rose.
we fed them that entire box of saltine crackers
the one I bought to make you make little pepperoni sandwiches
while I waited for you to get out of therapy the week before
I sat in that car for an hour and a half just to make sure you were happy.
and that’s another one I can’t seem to shake.
I have too many memories of you.
I mean what kind of sick satisfaction is this
holding onto a feeling and a memory that was
that does not listen
will not love you
well, I live them over and over and over
& I’ll see you tonight when I close my eyes
but I don’t ever want you to come back.