Month: June 2014

“He Just Needs Time.”

I think maybe this is good

I’d rather politely step off my throne

before words like ‘impeachment’

start streaming from ugly mouths

I have loved and lost like every other human being

but I think my mistake truly was

placing my efforts in all the wrong places

 

 

I missed your brother’s visits

and all your watercolors in school

but I loved every part of you

and thought of you everyday

 

 

I feel this gross aching in my chest as I write about you

but I know this pain is not something I can fix

I am at your mercy

I can safely say I have spent my whole life

refusing to be in this position

with anyone

but you stole me right off the shelf

so i’ll sit here for you

I couldn’t let go even if I wanted to

Please don’t go.

I think this is karma
not in the self pitying sort of way
I had always said
I don’t think God intended for me to hurt human beings
over and over again without consequence
even if I never meant to.

The irony is I truly believed I would never lose you
I never believed I could do a fucking thing to lose you from my life
you are my rock
and yet my whole entire life
is falling apart in front of me

I am so in love with you
and it is the scariest thing in the world to know
there is the possibility of losing you in this very moment

I’m bad
and you can only love bad for so long
before it ruins you
or you save yourself.