Digging Deeper

To an outsider
my nails are painted lilac
they are trimmed short and modest
my hands, they look soft and uncalloused
feminine

The untrained eye
does not see my tarnished skin
they do no know of the clawing I have done against these walls
persistence marks my efforts to stand tall while alone
a position I have known most of my life
they are black, you see.
my nails are splintered, fragments of what is left of my strength
it is a battered journey to become what you want
and I will welcome blood long before I welcome defeat

There are so many obstacles in your way and sometimes they are the hardest things to overcome.
Keep going.
Claw your fucking way until your fingers bleed.
And when everything seems like maybe it’s not that bad and maybe you were over reacting, believe yourself and keep pushing.
Believe you knew what what best before a lapse of stagnancy overcame you.
You are strong and FULL of fire.
Do not let it burn out.
Do not give in to what obstacles are being thrown at you.
Allow yourself to live, as soon as possible.
Happiness will follow, I promise.
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