Estranged Is Too Soft A Word

I miss the person you should have been
the mother who would take me to visit my college in the fall
she would have watched the leaves fall as we drove up north together
she would help me pack my bags and unload it all when we got there
hugging me so tight at the thought of being apart.

I do not miss the woman who drank on the night of my high school graduation
until she couldn’t stand straight
the woman who blackens my name with false words
and burns my pictures with cigarette butts.

I miss our Saturday morning shopping trips
to Goodwill & Salvation Army
you were always looking for something beautiful in the smallest of places
I try to find your beauty in the small spaces, in search for glimpses of the mother I miss

but it is too much to bear.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s