journal

Ridgevale

I.
There is nothing like the threat of distance
To make me sink my teeth in deeper.

II.
The degrees of separation are spread six wide
I think we’ve created them all over the past two years.

III.
12,000 miles is a long way down
And i’m not ready to fall.

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Visual Blight

I wonder how long I will have to look myself in this mirror

Red lips and brown eyes
(Black holes where a soul should be )
Until I can convince myself
This isn’t where I belong

I can’t remember the last time I knew
The girl with the red lips and the brown eyes
That is staring back at me

She doesn’t speak to me anymore
The one with the soul
The one with stars in her eyes

That notion of a person has walked on
Kissed the back of my neck
And left to touch heavens door

The air is thick
I cough blood to the thought
Of breaking my own arm to live free.

Dormouse

Do I exist in a way of light?

Do I mean something for this universe?

This is a restricted garden

and I am forced to bleed

picking roses from the stem,

I fear missing any of its sweet beauty, as it is all I have

I wish to travel further than steel doors that keep me

I have clipped every flower

counted the roses 1000 times

what is left?

what joy was I going to find here?

Encore

I studied your face one more time

To make sure I didn’t miss anything

The cusp of your cupids bow

The Bermuda triangle of freckles planted on the side of your mouth

I kiss you goodbye like it’s the last time

I tell myself it is 

I want it to be true

I.
I’ll take queues from you
Until I get stuck in the feeling
That is your eyes
Golden and sunken and rimmed with grey

II.
Do you feel the vibrations between us?
It is palpable
My mouth tastes of iron and sweat and your skin

III.
Kiss me like you want to be loved
Fill your lungs with Newports
I’ll drown my blood in hops
I will spend my whole life here

She’s trying to cut you down, Angel

Your hair is rope thick and earth-colored
Your body is soft and shaped by the Gods
Your hands were made for healing
Don’t forget this.

Your Body Is Your Home. Don’t Burn It Down

I.
What happens when the foundation gives in heaves?
I do not want to die
But she who must go on does not feel the same
She shakes
& I can feel her skin blue
I am no longer living in this body

II.
Where do I run when the fire starts?
The smoke consumes me
My first & last thoughts are always of you.

Unwanted

Clovers grow in my heart where you used to heal me
Now fairy rings in the ground
Empty, hollow enclosures
the rejected “I love yous” pile up in the backseat of our car
like heavy snow
I need you so close
It’s a bargain of breath I need
Your skin against mine
To make this day in & day out worthwhile