Your hair is rope thick and earth-colored
Your body is soft and shaped by the Gods
Your hands were made for healing
Don’t forget this.
What happens when the foundation gives in heaves?
I do not want to die
But she who must go on does not feel the same
& I can feel her skin blue
I am no longer living in this body
Where do I run when the fire starts?
The smoke consumes me
My first & last thoughts are always of you.
Clovers grow in my heart where you used to heal me
Now fairy rings in the ground
Empty, hollow enclosures
the rejected “I love yous” pile up in the backseat of our car
like heavy snow
I need you so close
It’s a bargain of breath I need
Your skin against mine
To make this day in & day out worthwhile
We made each other come alive
And I never minded the pain of what that entailed
Our highest highs were worth the lowest lows
Or at least, I remember it that way.
I have captured moments I never wanted to let go
Like the fire in your eyes from the moment you woke, pristine & jade
Kissing under the rain, mud-ridden & dirty
Heavy metal music stomping through the air, passion dancing at our feet
I wish I could feel the way we felt together again
Pure electricity flowing through our harrowed hands
The air thick around us at every breath.
It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth
When I pass New Rochelle
I almost felt as if the train slows down
Just to let me know
“I’m leaving you again.”
You’re leaving me again.